Turns out I'm fat. Stevie is back to her pre-pregnancy weight. I am not. I know… I hate her a little for it too. So it's time to get my ass off the couch, get on to the road/treadmill/footpath and start attempting to avert my descent into the glorious world of Type 2 Diabetes and Sleep Apnea Masks. I want to be Batman. I don't want to be Bane.
I know what you're thinking. I can hear your mind. "Oh no, John's going to start posting about nothing but working out and running. This is a parenting blog, I don't care about how many carbs you had for breakfast. And I swear to God, if you start posting pictures of your feet after runs I will not only unsubscribe from your blog, but I will also print out all of your old posts and burn them while laughing maniacally. LAUGHING."
Well that was kind of mean. I forgive you for thinking it though. I promise that this will remain a parenting blog. I will not insert a calorie counting widget into the sidebar. But here is what I am doing: I'm going to help cure cancer. Blood cancers to be specific. I have joined the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training and committed to run a half marathon.
I can hear what you're thinking again. "A half marathon… really. That's nothing. I run half marathons in my sleep." Yeah, well I eat bacon in my sleep. So a half marathon seemed like a good place to start. More importantly, I've also committed to raising money to help with cancer research. If you're tired of reading this and want to just donate already, go here and donate. If you want to hear about the prizes, keep reading.
OK… I get it. You need a little incentive. Here is some incentivizing:
(Feel that, that's you being incentivized. Feels good doesn't it?)
Please donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society through my fundraising page. My goal is set at $1200, but I think we can blow that out of the water. To get there I am offering prizes! (See Below)
Also, please share this post with friends and family who may want to help too. You can use the social media icons at the bottom. They look like this:
HERE ARE THE PRIZES!!!!
Donation of any amount: Entered in a weekly drawing for a new prize each week. These will be announced through the Facebook page. So click "like" on the Facebook widget on the right side of the page.
$25.00: I will personally thank you on the blog and link to your website if you have one.
$50.00: I will print and mail you a nice, signed copy of one of my posts with a personal note of thanks. Your choice.
$100.00: I will write your kid or you a personalized bed time story. Send me your kid's name and a list of their favorite things and I will work them in to a coherent story. Don't worry, it won't read like a mad-lib.
$250.00: The Duchess will paint and sign a picture for you. I will frame it and mail it. She's getting really good at circles. Also, I'll include a signed color print of my one web comic (or any future web comic… yes there are more coming.)
$500.00: All of the above prizes. Also, I will personally call you and thank you and sing a song of your choice. You can record it and post it on the internet to make fun of me.
$1000.00 All of the above prizes AND I will include you in the dedication of my first book (I'm working on it and don't have a publisher yet… so if you know someone…) AND If we have a third child we will strongly consider your name as an option AND if you live in Utah I will come and mow your lawn every weekend for a month.
Thanks for your help and thanks for reading!!