Ask Your Dad Blog

Monday, September 28, 2015

Lee Jeans, Ballet, Tailgating, and Dropping the Ball On Deadlines

So here's the thing. This post is sponsored. Well, it was sponsored. It is for a brand I love, Lee Jeans. Generally I am the one that pays Lee Jeans to wear their jeans, but when I was selected to write about football, Mike and Mike in the morning, and Lee Jeans... AND get paid, I was pretty stoked. This post was due a week ago. Oops.

My Lee Jeans. Well, one of 4 pairs I own.
This is actually the second time I have written this post. The first one was accidentally deleted. I found this out while out of town. Oops again. By the time I got home I had missed the whole campaign. I know. I know. Get it together John. You're a professional. Thanks voice in my head. 

So yeah. I suck lately. I missed the boat on this one. Do you know what doesn't suck at all, in fact, are the opposite? Lee Jeans. Really. I am wearing them right now. (See photo above.) They're a good, affordable brand and they deserved an on time post from me. Know what else doesn't suck? Tailgating. And the Green Bay Packers, who, as of last Sunday, are 2-0 on the season. They play tonight on Monday Night Football. I won't be watching most of that game either. Know what I am currently watching? 

Yep. I'm writing this at ballet practice. 

Mind if tell you what I love about Lee Jeans? If you have read this far I am assuming you don't. They fit and they are comfortable. Yep. I know that may sound like a pretty low bar, but I am a short and round man and finding jeans that fit and are comfortable is not an easy task. For a long time I was wearing another brand that starts with an L and are not nearly as comfortable. Then I found Lee Jeans.

OK, let's talk about tailgating now. This post originally involved tailgating. My two favorite sports radio guys, Mike and Mike have been going head to head in a series of videos for Lee Jeans. I had a whole piece written about how my dream is to go tailgate at Lambeau. 

I used to love tailgating. I used to show up to football games three hours early, cook delicious things on hot grills. We would grab ice cold beers out of ice cold coolers. I would dream of someday tailgating at Lambeau. Greeny is right. Lambeau is the promised land for tailgaters, or so I have heard. In my imagination it is like the scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where Gene Wilder first opens the door to the candy world, only instead of candy it is beer and bratwurst and green and gold as far as the eye can see. That is what I used to dream of. I didn't dream of ballet practice. I should have.

My daughter is currently jumping in between first and second position. She explained to me what these things are a few weeks ago. We spent fifteen minutes in the living room as she chirped "first! second! first! second! Good job daddy!" 

I was wearing Lee Jeans. 

I probably wouldn't recommend performing Swan Lake in its entirety in Lee Jeans, but jumping between first and second position with your daughter really highlights the Active Comfort Denim that accompanies the Modern Series and Premium Select jeans.

I know this seems disjointed. I am a bit frazzled lately. Tomorrow night is gymnastics. I also just started a new job. The blog is behind. I miss you guys. Life is good. Tailgating is good. Lee Jeans are very comfortable.

Disclosure: I have partnered with Life of Dad and Lee Jeans for this promotion.  I have received compensation for my participation, but my thoughts are my own.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Our Dog Riley - An Update

 This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. 
#BrightMind #CollectiveBias

As we mentioned in our last post about Riley, we've switched up his diet a little bit. We'd noticed some differences in how he'd been acting lately, wasn't really interested in playing, didn't pay much attention to the kids. According to experts at Purina Pro Plan, around age seven, the glucose metabolism in a dog's brain begins to change, which can affect memory, learning, awareness or decision making. 

So we picked up some Pro Plan Bright Mind dog food from Purina at PetSmart that designed for senior dogs. He's been on the new food for a little over a month now and I'm super happy to say that we've seen some great changes. He's got some spunk, and he's starting to play his old games again. He never really did traditional things like fetch or rollover. But he did used to play this fun game where he'd bite anything moving under a blanket. Whether or not you knew you were playing. 

I'm so excited for his new found energy and willingness to play. It's not that I don't love to cuddle with the boy (who doesn't love some cuddle time with that cute face??) But it's nice to see that he's interested in some of his old games these days. 

We made another video to show you some of the things he's been up to in his day-to-day lately. Like I said before, he's definitely an old man. But he's my old man. 

Do you have a senior dog that will always be your puppy? Right now if you Spend $10 on any Purina Pro Plan Dry Dog or Cat Food* at PetSmart between 8/31 and 10/4, you can save $10 on your next Purina Pro Plan Dry Food purchase, 14-lb. or more, on or before 11/1!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

5 Children's Books That Don't Exist But Should

Remember the timeless classic children's book from a few years ago, "Go the F*ck to Sleep"? If you don't, you should check out this dramatic reading by the one and only Samuel L Jackson. A family member e-mailed me the link to that video for the eleventieth time the other day and it got me thinking. What other tongue-in-cheek kids' books do I wish were out there? Here are five. If any publishers are reading this, feel free to contact me. I can write these.

How to Wipe Your Butt

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Our Dog Riley

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #BrightMind #CollectiveBias

Stevie here. I'm taking a break from posts about parenting our kids to talk about parenting another important member of the Kinnear family.

We've mentioned him here and there in the past but he's usually in the background. So I'm here to tell you his story. 

Meet Riley.

Riley has been my buddy since I was a junior in High School. I don't think John fully realized that the dog and I were a package deal. So after we got married, Riley came with us when we bought our first house. In fact, when we bought our house, one of the selling points was that it was the same layout as the house we'd been renting, we thought it would be an easier transition on the dog. 

One thing you need to understand about Riley. He's a little....odd. He's an apple-head chihuahua and comes with all the neuroses that come with that title. As a small look into his life: 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

5 Parental Super Powers I Didn't Ask For

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to get hit by gamma rays or get bitten by a radioactive spider. As a kid I dreamed of waking up some day and suddenly being able to lift heavy objects with my mind or shoot laser beams out of my eyes. Not this. Not these powers... Who wants the "super" ability to smell their child's unique poop odor from across the room? 

"Nobody panic! That poo smell belongs to my kid. My unique parenting power tells me that this is a class 4 blowout. Don't worry. I can handle this!" 

Possible Super Hero name: The Sniffer

See what I mean? What am I supposed to do with that crappy (pun intended) super power? Sigh… here are four other super lame super powers that being a parent has given me... none of which, by the way, are flying – double grrr.

Super Power: Parental Precognition

It's kind of like Spidey-Sense, but it only works on my kids. I know just before something horrible is about to happen – usually because my kid says something like "Look dad!" or "Oooh! Gum!" or "Uh oh!" or things just get really, really quiet. Unfortunately, knowing something is about to happen and being able to prevent it are two very different things. Most of the time I have just enough parental precognition to say the beginnings of various words in succession. "Wai! NO! STO… ugh." Then it is too late and I say other, complete words quietly under my breath.

Possible Super Hero Name: The Dammit Whisperer

Super Power: Super Distraction

This isn't so much a super power as it is a super skill. For some reason I thought that when I had kids I would just explain to them, in very simple and kid friendly terms, why they should do something, and since they were my kids they would understand and do it. 

I was dumb. 

I quickly realized that 90% of getting kids to do what you want is tricking them by gently distracting them in the right direction. I would compare it to herding cattle since that is a completely accurate comparison, but people might get angry if I compare my kids to cattle. So I won't. See what I did there? Distraction.

I don't say "Want to go to bed?" I say, “Let's go read a book in bed.” I don't say, "Do you want to stop watching that ridiculous show that makes me want to stab my eyes out?" I say "Oh look! Your toy room is clean for once. Quick. Fix that!" By the way, the toy room is a perfect example of my wife's distraction skills too. It used to be my office, until she distracted me.

Possible Super Hero Name: Mr. Ooh Look Something Shiny

Super Power: Sleep Functioning

Any shlub with a predisposition for sleep disorders can sleep walk. I can work an eight hour day, go home, cook dinner, and only suffer minor second-degree burns on occasion - all while half asleep. I figure that if I am half asleep all of the time, I don't have to be full asleep half of the time. Trust me, it makes sense when you haven't slept for seven months.

Sure, I'm a zombie. Sure, I nod off while reading stories to my kids. And maybe I do lie down in the shower sometimes and let the hot water running out be my alarm clock. A dad has got to do what a dad has got to do, even if it means living in a nightmarish half awake dreamscape from time to time. Isn't that right Mr. Flying Dragon-pig? Now let's hurry. We're late for the roller coaster eating contest.

Possible Super Hero Name: The Walking Dad

Super Power: Tolerance to all things Gross and Disgusting

Nothing disgusts me anymore. Nothing. I have been baptized in endless baby piss and shit and snot and have emerged from the font of fluids a super-parent. What does this power do for me aside from allowing me to clean feces out of my kid's various crevasses? Well, I went to Walmart with sweatpants on the other day and didn't feel embarrassed. I also dropped my breakfast sandwich on the floor and picked it back up to eat it. Basically, anything that isn't covered in poop is clean now.

Possible Super Hero Name: The Slob

So there you are: my powers. Will I use them for good or evil? That remains to be seen. For now, my dad sense is tingling which means that there is either a bottle of sunscreen being emptied on to my carpet or something far, far worse. It is too quiet. Gotta go.


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