Tuesday, November 18, 2014

20 Somewhat Horrible Things I Do to My Kids That I in No Way Feel Guilty About



This following list was compiled from Stevie, myself, and a few other guilty parties whose names will be protected until my death. They know who they are, and they don't feel guilty either.

  1. I’ve been trying to use up the gross generic peanut butter that we bought a while ago. When we make sandwiches, the kids get generic. I get Jif. I’m choosy… and selfish.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Daughter, What I Want for You, You Already Have



You wanted to see the polar bear but there were too many people. I should have thought twice about taking you to the zoo on what was probably going to be the last, beautiful fall Saturday of the year. Soon the rains would come and pull the leaves from the trees, and leave them to be buried underneath the snows of winter. But there we were behind a throng of squished humans, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, standing in front of the window where, I assume, a polar bear was staring back. 

"Daddy, can I go see the polar bear?"

"It looks pretty crowded, honey. I don’t know if we’ll be able to get up to the window."

"I can do it."