tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post1164595799529118345..comments2024-03-05T10:19:16.909-07:00Comments on Ask Your Dad Blog: The Religion PostJohn Kinnearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217999409806454795noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-41511664016762920862014-10-24T10:15:23.495-06:002014-10-24T10:15:23.495-06:00This contemplating driving which was in which only...This contemplating driving which was in which only The almighty can "create, " put simply, help make something via <a href="http://uubcar.com/" rel="nofollow">unitarian</a> almost nothing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18338012609875718329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-39043082310140436012014-04-27T14:30:49.652-06:002014-04-27T14:30:49.652-06:00Quality time is impt I am catholic 7t is my onky r...Quality time is impt I am catholic 7t is my onky religion born and raised I think god is good for kidsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-16271971655157012362013-12-15T23:50:19.078-07:002013-12-15T23:50:19.078-07:00I've been many religions growing up. Jehovah&#...I've been many religions growing up. Jehovah's Witness, Mormon, Baptist, Non-Denominational but none of them fit. My mom explained to me that there are a lot of religions out there and one day I would find the one that was right for me. I still haven't found it but my exploration of religion did give me a belief in God and that has been worth the journey. <br /><br />My daughter asks me questions all the time and I just answer her as honestly as I can about what I believe. I think the only wrong way to handle it would be to browbeat your child into only believing your way instead of supporting them in finding their God or meaning of life themselves. I was ostracized as a child for being Jehovah's Witness and grew to hate it so eventually I found a new religion. And then another. And another.<br /><br />What's most important is for you to be comfortable in whatever it is that you believe in in my opinion and to not bash others for their beliefs.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16202758364568519599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-53548710224083333912013-10-07T15:26:22.456-06:002013-10-07T15:26:22.456-06:00Not being religious people, my parents sent me to ...Not being religious people, my parents sent me to a Lutheran Sunday school when I was growing up. I stayed with it for a few years, but ultimately I left. A lot of the parishioners were quite hypocritical, and I decided I could believe in God without the help of a church. <br />When my kids were born, my ex and I fought tooth and nail about religion. He is a lapsed Catholic. Somehow, in some alternate world, that translated into our two boys having to be christened (baptized?) Catholic. Oh, and I was going to be the one in charge of getting them to church. Needless to say, that did not happen.<br />I talked with my kids about God and religion as they grew. We looked at different beliefs each religion have. Mostly, I worked on instilling "not be asshole" values and morals, ya' know? Don't lie, don't steal, don't cheat, don't go on murderous rampages, yadda yadda yadda. I always told them that the little voice in their head (their conscience) was like the voice of God. If that voice said that you probably shouldn't do something, then you should listen. If the voice says you should do something, listen (later on, it hit me that schizophrenia also involves little voices at times, then I stressed myself out lol). I did my best to give them the tools to think for themselves and to be decent human beings.<br />As of now, they are 18 & 20. One is a believer, one is an atheist. One battles depression, one is as happy as can be. One struggles with courses at the local community college, one is looking at a full scholarship. They are as different as night and day in a lot of aspects. That being said, both will hold open doors for people, both will help anyone they can,both are polite, both are helpful and friendly, both are comfortable in their skin. They will each give their honest opinions if asked. Actually, both are honest almost to a fault. Over the years I fielded calls from the school about their honesty. One climbed on a sink in junior high trying to reach something, broke the sink, then went in and told on himself. The other put a centerfold picture in his buddy's locker, when the door opened, the picture fell out. My kid promptly took responsibility. Each instance, I was proud of how they handled themselves and I told them so. But in my head? "Dude, you so could've gotten away with that. What the hell? You TOLD on yourself???" Yeah, they never heard the dialogue in my head....<br />I think that it's important for your kids to know what you believe and why. I also think it is important for them to learn what others believe and why. I sent them to church with their friends as they were growing up, I sent them to a Christian day care for one year, a Catholic one another year. I gave them every opportunity I could think of to learn about religion and to form their own opinions and beliefs. <br />Oh, and junior high? Your kids are going to feel ostracized and out of place about something. Trust me on that one. :)Pandra's Ponderingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13212887226610785740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-77020738244159878422013-09-20T11:56:30.539-06:002013-09-20T11:56:30.539-06:00Having just found your blog, I am enjoying reading...Having just found your blog, I am enjoying reading the past posts. This one struck a cord in me. My husband was raised Anglican, and the church formed an integral part of his family life growing up. When it came time to be confirmed, he politely refused. Both of his sisters were confirmed and his mother and sisters attend church. I was baptized in the Anglican church but religion formed no part of my life growing up. When we had children, we decided to baptize them in his family's church because we knew how important it was for his parents. As they grew up (they are in their late teens now), they made many friends who attended religious services regularly (Protestant, Catholic, Jewish and Muslim). They questioned us on 'our religion' and we explained the basic tenets of the Anglican church to them. We took them to several Christmas services as they enjoyed them. But as they grew older, they began to ask about our beliefs. We were honest with them. We are both athiest, and we explained that while we did not believe in God, many, many people do, and they needed to find their own beliefs. For a period of time, my daughter became very interested in Christianity and expressed her belief in God and Jesus and we accepted that. Over time however, and many discussions about Christianity and our beliefs, they are both now atheist. I don't agree that one must foster a particular belief system in order to raise a moral child. Both of our kids are very moral and responsible and any parent would be proud to call them their own. I agree with the comment above that teaching awareness of different faiths and cultures, and more importantly, tolerance, understanding and acceptance of beliefs different from their own is the most important part of the whole process. Best of luck to you! You will find a road that works for you and your family. Diane Diane Evanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08491667613991427625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-54252715196729964212013-09-20T11:56:22.678-06:002013-09-20T11:56:22.678-06:00Having just found your blog, I am enjoying reading...Having just found your blog, I am enjoying reading the past posts. This one struck a cord in me. My husband was raised Anglican, and the church formed an integral part of his family life growing up. When it came time to be confirmed, he politely refused. Both of his sisters were confirmed and his mother and sisters attend church. I was baptized in the Anglican church but religion formed no part of my life growing up. When we had children, we decided to baptize them in his family's church because we knew how important it was for his parents. As they grew up (they are in their late teens now), they made many friends who attended religious services regularly (Protestant, Catholic, Jewish and Muslim). They questioned us on 'our religion' and we explained the basic tenets of the Anglican church to them. We took them to several Christmas services as they enjoyed them. But as they grew older, they began to ask about our beliefs. We were honest with them. We are both athiest, and we explained that while we did not believe in God, many, many people do, and they needed to find their own beliefs. For a period of time, my daughter became very interested in Christianity and expressed her belief in God and Jesus and we accepted that. Over time however, and many discussions about Christianity and our beliefs, they are both now atheist. I don't agree that one must foster a particular belief system in order to raise a moral child. Both of our kids are very moral and responsible and any parent would be proud to call them their own. I agree with the comment above that teaching awareness of different faiths and cultures, and more importantly, tolerance, understanding and acceptance of beliefs different from their own is the most important part of the whole process. Best of luck to you! You will find a road that works for you and your family. Diane Diane Evanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08491667613991427625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-8311445987502491102013-08-25T08:50:00.534-06:002013-08-25T08:50:00.534-06:00I really enjoyed reading this. My wife and I haven...I really enjoyed reading this. My wife and I haven't really discussed this question. Neither of us is religious, so I guess that we'll probably leave our son and any other kids that follow to make up their own mind about what they want to believe in. My parents did something similar by not having me baptized (...which apparently didn't go down entirely well with their folks!). I think that teaching awareness of faiths and cultures in general is the most important thing here really.<br /><br />JonathanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-51082321094070921512013-08-22T12:44:15.507-06:002013-08-22T12:44:15.507-06:00I really like this post. As a new dad, and a pract...I really like this post. As a new dad, and a practicing Mormon, I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about how to introduce faith and religion to my son. While I have a strong believe in the Mormon religion and would be thrilled if my son chose that path, I don't ever want him to feel like it's his only option, or that I would love him any less if he chose something different. I would love him no matter what. I want him to learn about the world and find his own way to happiness, whether that involves God and religion, or not. This post, and many of the comments, have given me some good ideas on how to help guide him. <br /><br />Also, reading your post made me realize something I hadn't ever considered before. You talk about growing up in Utah and how you felt marginalized, outcast, and angry. You say it wasn't because you were bullied or excluded, but instead you attribute it more towards "feeling that [you were] viewed as 'less than' and 'unfinished' in [your] friends' eyes." <br /><br />I also grew up in Utah, and always tried to be kind and respectful towards those around me who were non-Mormon. And while I certainly never did it on purpose or ever intended it to come across that way, I hadn't considered that my actions and attitudes might make those around me feel like I thought of them as 'less than' or 'unfinished.'<br /><br />Whenever I share my faith it's because I have found something that has made me incredibly happy and I want to share that with others. And while I recognize that it's not the only way to happiness, and plenty of people have found other paths of positivity, I had never considered that my invitations might leave people thinking that I thought they were sad, incomplete people that need my help. Because I don't. So, thank you for giving me another perspective. It will certainly change the way I try to share my faith in the future.Ben Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06567533022036420984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-62126800539317008002013-08-16T14:14:09.974-06:002013-08-16T14:14:09.974-06:00Thanks so much for your comment Jonelle. I really ...Thanks so much for your comment Jonelle. I really look up to you and Chris and what wonderful parents you are. I'm so glad that your faith is such a positive part of your life. John Kinnearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10217999409806454795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-1425682994592271782013-08-16T13:27:03.305-06:002013-08-16T13:27:03.305-06:00But you are implying that you you have to give the...But you are implying that you you have to give them a value system via church, aren't you? One doesn't have to go to church to believe that stealing is wrong. Teaching a child about the proper role of religion in one's life is a concept that will only ring true to them once they can ask questions about the meaning of life themselves. Sending them to church early only sets "church" as their default. Once they are older, getting over the guilt of disconnecting with the church can be difficult if they have decided that church doesn't provide the answers they are looking for. Personally I believe values are taught through the family and the interactions of mom and dad, parent and child, and parent and society. Mom and Dad may or may not have come to their belief systems through church or not...really that's irrelevant as long as they are good people and contribute to society. That's the most important part, not whether they go to church or not.<br /> Jasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18297099012188802687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-56415100122572682722013-08-16T13:13:20.062-06:002013-08-16T13:13:20.062-06:00Funny story, the first movie I ever saw in a theat...Funny story, the first movie I ever saw in a theater was A River Runs Through It. My parents wanted to take my youngest brother to a Disney movie and my middle brother (2 years younger) and I wanted to go to something else so my parents let us go to that. Who would have known that it was a movie about 2 brothers and their relationships to nature, religion, debauchery, and love. I turned out a lot like the older brother and he turned out like the younger brother (Brad Pitt's character). It was such an ironic way to see our first movie and has always held a very dear place in my heart..besides all the amazing fishing.<br /><br />John, that poem is amazing. I've never read it before but absolutely feel a connection to it. I have a feeling that you and I would be great friends if we weren't 2000 miles apart!<br /><br />Stephen, you point is well taken and I don't live in a community where there is a predominant religion. However, for me, being agnostic/atheist/whatever all other religions make up the majority to me so I absolutely can understand the feeling from that POV. Kids will be ostracized for many reasons as they get older. I think the key is to love them at home unconditionally, teach them about the wonder I mentioned above, talk to them about how kids can be mean, and hope that every little bit that you have taught them will add up enough to allow them to confidently express their strength of character and know that they don't have to be like everyone else to be normal. It isn't about giving them the direct tools or words to "defend" themselves, but it is about giving them the subtle tools (intelligence, wisdom, confidence) to walk through those tough times and come out stronger on the backside. Jasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18297099012188802687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-50149946392347306502013-08-16T09:38:44.680-06:002013-08-16T09:38:44.680-06:00ugh I had a whole thing typed and it didn't go...ugh I had a whole thing typed and it didn't go through! Anyway I was raised Presbyterian and am now a "born again christian". I tend to agree with Micheal Ellis. I did a ton of research when I decided on what I was going to believe it, the Bible vs the Book of Mormon vs Agnostic vs Catholic vs Jewish etc. I have found that it is extremely important to know what you believe and why you believe it. I think you really have to look into your beliefs and not purely go on your feelings, Why don't you think there is a God, why do you think there is, what God do you think exists, is there a basis for the Bible, who wrote whatever your book you are reading and is there historical evidence for that book that it is true and reliable and not just based on feelings that it is true. If you are just going off your feelings how are you supposed to explain right and wrong to your kids. Raising my kids with these answers has not only helped them not hit their friends but know why it is not ok to hit them. I will love my kids no matter what path they choose (even if it is an evil leprechaun) but I want them to be able to think through their decisions and the best way to ensure that is being an example myself.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12838579522601219201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-69698366003921473912013-08-15T12:19:01.936-06:002013-08-15T12:19:01.936-06:00In my view (and I don't have children, so I kn...In my view (and I don't have children, so I know most will immediately dismiss me as irrelevant to this conversation) parents have a high obligation to lead their children to the proper belief systems and not leave them floating in the breeze to make up their own minds. The foundation of strong moral character is formed during the earliest years. The same foundation of a religious faith are formed during those same years. If parents are wishy-washy about the matter, kid will be very unlikely to gravitate in that direction - so while you say you're leaving it up to your kids, your inaction actually chooses for them. Believing what is right and wrong, believing what is the proper role of religion in one's life is something a parent should proactively teach his children. This is just as you would teach a child not to steal and not to hurt others and to respect their elders, etc. Leaving a child confused about religious faith is a terribly destructive thing to do to a child. When they are adults, they will certainly make up their own minds - but the framework and foundation you laid for them will completely govern their approach to answering such fundamental questions. If you have the strength of your convictions, teach your children those lessons. They need the guidance of parents to have a strong foundation. If they decide when they are older that you were full of sh*t - which they undoubtedly will do on many points - you won't stop them. But in the meantime, you gave them the value systems you wanted them to have, without them being on shaky ground.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18170101083783837755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-137373699269420222013-08-15T10:37:34.233-06:002013-08-15T10:37:34.233-06:00While I agree with everything you have said Jason,...While I agree with everything you have said Jason, this doesn't help the kids in the short term when they are/feel ostracised because they don't have the same religion as everyone else in the class.Stephen Greenehttp://headoftheheard.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-44133247930438208332013-08-15T10:32:13.162-06:002013-08-15T10:32:13.162-06:00A great post that I can all too-easily recognise.
...A great post that I can all too-easily recognise.<br /><br />I don't believe in any god at all, but if others want to then that is up to them. I am from the UK but I live in Brazil where Chrisianty is huge. There have been many examples of people in the publis sphere accusing atheists of bringing about all kinds of destruction and depravity. I am, therefore, slightly worried about what to say to my son when the inevitable question comes (he is 2 at the moment).<br /><br />I have also had 'the religion post' sitting in my drafts folder for quite a while. Every time I start it I get to place where I know I am offending somebody (usually lots of some bodies) and so I try to start again and be a bit less vehement. I think you have done a very good job here so I'll have another go tonight.Stephen Greenehttp://headoftheheard.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-4965601151695754082013-08-15T10:05:04.567-06:002013-08-15T10:05:04.567-06:00Jason, fant-freaking-tastic comment. You win the i...Jason, fant-freaking-tastic comment. You win the internet. It reminded me of one of my very most favorite poems of all time. Here it is for your reading enjoyment:<br /><br />Ask Me<br /><br />Some time when the river is ice ask me<br />mistakes I have made. Ask me whether<br />what I have done is my life. Others<br />have come in their slow way into<br />my thought, and some have tried to help<br />or to hurt: ask me what difference<br />their strongest love or hate has made.<br /><br />I will listen to what you say.<br />You and I can turn and look<br />at the silent river and wait. We know<br />the current is there, hidden; and there<br />are comings and goings from miles away<br />that hold the stillness exactly before us.<br />What the river says, that is what I say. <br /><br />William StaffordJohn Kinnearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10217999409806454795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-66337268450098173402013-08-15T08:20:38.002-06:002013-08-15T08:20:38.002-06:00By way of background, I was raised Eastern Orthodo...By way of background, I was raised Eastern Orthodox and am now Southern Baptist (figure that one out). My wife and I have always been involved in church life in some way or another, and are raising our kids in the Baptist faith.<br /><br />When we we first got married, we church-shopped for a while, and landed in a church where the people were friendly and we could agree on what I call the "big rock" items. I try not to get hung up on denominational differences (Baptists don't drink or dance [well, the good ones, anyway], Catholics don't eat meat on Fridays during lent). That's all stuff that people came up with. Sure, they draw their inspiration for those tenets from scripture (and in the case of the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches, church history), but I haven't found a single verse in the bible that says "Don't drink or dance or eat meat on Fridays."<br /><br />I'd challenge you to figure out what you believe, about life, death, heaven, hell, morality, virtue, salvation, etc., then find a church that aligns with most of what you believe. A great resource is Leo Rosten's book "Religions of America." (http://www.amazon.com/Religions-America-Leo-Rosten/dp/B0046LUKIG/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1376576182&sr=8-4&keywords=leo+rosten) Rosten presents an unbiased view of what each major faith group believes, though most listed are Christian denominations.<br /><br />God bless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-8666974699805225062013-08-14T21:11:32.752-06:002013-08-14T21:11:32.752-06:00I like Jason's comment too, and reading your p...I like Jason's comment too, and reading your post, it kind of sounds to me like you've worked out your own answer: be yourselves and be truthful. Show your kids what goodness means, show them honor, show them integrity, and show them how to think for themselves. You can't go too far wrong with that. And don't worry overmuch about them feeling different or other than. It may be a difficult period, but it's something we all go through at one point or another on the path to finding ourselves. Personally, I wouldn't want my own kids to NOT experience that, if the alternative is that they're always just like everyone else, right? Jade @ Tasting Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05479793004830907011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-76459836108555054792013-08-14T19:18:14.295-06:002013-08-14T19:18:14.295-06:00Thank you for the wonderful article. My husband a...Thank you for the wonderful article. My husband and I have the same conversation. We both grew up in Christian churches, but we are not believers anymore.<br /><br />Also, it is wonderful to read through the comments without having to cringe. Thanks everyone for your contributions to the conversation.DawnDoingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05594404114663393268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-84209301126367487132013-08-14T16:44:00.650-06:002013-08-14T16:44:00.650-06:00I am pregnant with our first child and have alread...I am pregnant with our first child and have already started thinking about this. My husband is Agnostic and I am Lutheran.<br /><br />I think, at this point in time, what I am going to do is tell our son/daughter that I am Lutheran and believe in "X", but tell them that they are free to believe whatever they want. Maybe that's naive and too much to put on a child, but I'm caught between wanting to tell them about my religion and at the same time have them know that they can believe whatever they want and the label is not important to either of us. However, I feel like they'll just decide they believe whatever I tell them and that's not what I want. I'm uncertain about telling them about my husband's Agnosticism for the same reasons you brought up - neither one of us want them to take it as his saying God is not real. It's a tough situation.<br /><br />So, as much as I can while my child is not here yet, I feel your pain.Sierrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05212012124871509669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-25000261402234918882013-08-14T16:31:35.210-06:002013-08-14T16:31:35.210-06:00Ha ha. True. Although, there are mountains to the ...Ha ha. True. Although, there are mountains to the west too. I just takes a long drive to get out there and they're not as pretty. John Kinnearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10217999409806454795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-15853944089285403752013-08-14T15:46:22.544-06:002013-08-14T15:46:22.544-06:00Nice piece, John. As soon as I saw the bit about l...Nice piece, John. As soon as I saw the bit about life on the sides of mountains, I imagined SLC and the mountains that rise up on the east. Ah, mountain metaphors. People from Kansas just don't get 'em. There's probably some good metaphor (for yourself or your kids) to be had in your very specific locale about being able to use mountains as a guide, always to the east, where the sun rises. Unless you're in Park City or Heber or something, which makes it confusing...<br />neal callhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17285975416175230777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-19892064446407622742013-08-14T15:39:12.392-06:002013-08-14T15:39:12.392-06:00Methinks Jason has seen (or would be mightily happ...Methinks Jason has seen (or would be mightily happy to see) A River Runs Through It. Lots of good stuff about uncertain religious principles but very certain ideas about Good and Right and Beautiful. And also, lotsa good fly fishing moments.neal callhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17285975416175230777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-22384686936565671252013-08-14T14:17:48.659-06:002013-08-14T14:17:48.659-06:00As Jason writes: This. Wonder and curiosity are th...As Jason writes: This. Wonder and curiosity are the best gifts you can give a child.Jonnenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385734613853151197.post-47126936878899690832013-08-14T14:02:12.604-06:002013-08-14T14:02:12.604-06:00Oops - Church of (my maiden name)...Oops - Church of (my maiden name)...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com